I remember watching a movie commercial with scenes from a masquerade party. All of these people were dressed up and wearing masks to conceal their identity. I wondered why do these people wear masks at the party? I then noticed that with the masks they seemed to interact and communicate a lot better. Then I wondered, what would the party be like without masks? I started to see the reasons the masks were needed. As a youth, I suffered from low self-esteem issues without realizing it. I developed these complexes subconsciously and never addressed them. On the contrary, I had the ability to entertain as a natural. The ability to write music and perform was second nature, but along with the ability to perform came performance anxiety. …As a performer, I didn’t want people to know that I was suffering from these complexes, so I created a persona or mask to live behind. There was an image that I was selling to my peers as well as my supporters. … Being an entertainer, I disguised myself through jewelry, cars, clothes, etc. These are the things that I believed gave me value and the attention I desired. Running from the reality of who I really was, I decided to leave the mask on even after the party was over. 

By the time I was in high school I was doing a lot of recording. My big brother was recording with a group called “Trinity Garden Cartel.” I had a cousin who was with the “swishahouse.” I pretty much learned to put together rhymes from watching them as a teenager. As time passed, I began to experiment with drugs and committing crimes. Being a little older, my belief and value system changed. I see now it was reality that I was having trouble coping with. The reality was that I wasn’t happy. I understand that the trance was an escape from reality. I encourage all readers to accept and understand reality…

A lot of people have unrealistic expectations of life. A lot want to eat but not do the work it takes to get food. Others want fame but refuse to put in the foot work. I myself wanted success but did not understand that, no matter how bright the idea was, there was a greater amount of discipline involved. Some of us are driven by appetites that are subconsciously tricking us into believing we actually need what we hunger for. A lot of us have big dreams and goals and have not considered the cost. It is extremely easy to sell ourselves a delusion. The mask must be taken off so that our  approach to the world is clear. Whatever the dream or aspirations, be honest in the timeline of expectancy as well as your strengths and weaknesses.