PTSD – Empathy = Decade of Decadence

Author: Justin Rich

Description

Everyone loves Thanksgiving! ?That year was a two tray, Styrofoam, through a slot in the door special…even in the hole they went out of their way to get us sliced turkey…a cold blob of cranberry sauce, mystery stuffing and instant mashed potatoes with cold watered-down gravy…it was the thought that counts, right? I just couldn’t bring myself to eat it. Hours ticked by and those two Styrofoam trays sat there like ghosts, bright white reflecting off the soft count light that NEVER went off. I kept thinking “Michael and Aimee and Laurel can’t eat Thanksgiving dinner…” ?

I couldn’t wrap my head around it and what normally would have been a “wolf down,” smash everything, two tray feast of rarity was now molding in the dark corner of my cell. I couldn’t even look at it. I would never eat again.  

The Hole in 2006 was different. I had been there for maybe four to five months already? Who knows when you can’t see the sun and your only window is covered with metal. The pigeons seemed to love it though and the personal war every morning when they would wake me up was getting real old real fast…. but that Thanksgiving morning it wasn’t the pigeons that woke me, it was a rude-ass guard pounding on my cell door yelling, “cuff up, Rich,” and rattling open the slot in my door to cuff me up behind my back. I rose like a zombie and knelt down with my hands behind my back and he reached in and put cold, hard steel handcuffs on my wrists. What a way to start Turkey Day, I thought as he led me down the hall, me wondering where and why I was going this early.

Author Bio

Justin Rich

This story emerged from a workshop attended by about twenty-three writers at Fremont Correctional Facility in Colorado. This group was possible through collaboration with the University of Denver Prison Arts Initiative (DU PAI) and met for three hours on a single Friday afternoon. This story is being used in Herstory’s online carceral justice memoir-writing curriculum.

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