Can you tell me how it feels to have a dad? Can you tell me how it feels to know the exact location he stays at? How does it feel to know your dad is able to watch you grow? How does it feel to know that your dad doesn’t come into your life for a quick minute and then he goes? Are you able to sleep at night because you know your dad is sleeping in the bed right across the hall?

Do you cry because he works late once a month? I need to know, when you fall do you get up and cry or run to your dad to show him your cut? I want to know because I don’t think my biological father ever comforted me not once. 

At the park I see all the dads pushing their kids on the swing set. When they get off I run and sit in the swing seat, wondering would my dad ever come and push me? I watch a lot of father–daughter movies and I run outside and I look up at the sky and ask God, “What did I do not to deserve a father in my life?” 

When you cry, your father is able to catch your tears and he smiles at you and all of a sudden your tears disappear. But when I cry, my tears race down my face until they hit my cheeks and never stop, no one’s there to wipe my tears away, so they dry up, and that’s where they always remain.

In your dad’s mind you’re a Daddy’s little girl. In my father’s mind, I know he wishes I was never born, but I really didn’t ask to be here. These questions remain in my head unanswered, waiting for my father to come around.